Patrick Lewery Harris

Reading Tea Boxes

Have you ever read the description that is printed on the box of your favourite tea?

Some are to the point. Yorkshire Gold states merely that it is a “Luxury Blend of the World’s Best Black Teas,” and gives you a short blurb on the source of the blend. That’s the sort of description I’d expect to see on any product.

Other companies get a bit more creative with their descriptions.

Tetley’s Orange Pekoe similarly discusses the prestigious origins of the tea leaves you are about to consume, but also asks “What else can help ease you into the day and calm you at night? Lift your spirits and keep you grounded?” Don’t get me wrong, I love a good cup of tea, but I wouldn’t say it’s the only thing that could keep me grounded.

Twinings Earl Grey goes even further, turning a cup of tea into an out of body experience that is a “delicious diversion from the everyday.”

These are just three mass market teas that I had in my cupboard. I’m sure that if I search hard enough, I can find a tea that’ll have the meaning of life printed right on the box.